Most people hear the message of the Time Cube and scoff, calling it nonsense and malarkey. But for those happy few whose minds are aligned with the intersecting tesseracts of hypercubic reality, Time Cube is as evident as the wetness of water. Those happy few find a home among their peers here in the halls of the initiates.
Through the teachings of Rev. Ray, initiates will gain specific knowledge of pseudoscience, pataphysics, chaosophy, bulldada, parapsychosis, and HIGH WEIRDNESS not taught by the Conspiracy's educational systems or so-called "traditional" religions. Initiates learn the true nature of time and space, and rest into the blessed promise of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs that ALL THOSE WHO HAVE PAID ARE ALREADY SAVED.
We pass on to our initiates wisdom that has been developed over centuries, beginning with the Mayan and Egyptian Cubists who have been erased from the cultural record. The first step on the journey is formal initiation in all four degrees of our Order via our self-guided Tetranitiation Ceremony.
That's right - While some other mystery schools and religious orders force students to wait years before advancing on the initiatory path, The Church of the SubGenius and AMOTC recognize that every seeker is already a master, as long as their credit card clears. Since Time Cube teaches that all of human history occurs simultaneously, we confer all four initiatory degrees at once, with the knowledge that you have already attained the knowledge necessary to avdance, even if your linear brain hasn't caught up with it yet.
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For the original work on the Time Cube as written by Dr. Gene Ray, Cubic and Wisest Human, visit the archived copy of the Time Cube website.