The AMOTC logo, featuring a representation of the Time Cube with Dobbshead emblazoned on it

Ancient and Mystical Order of the Time Cube (AMOTC)

Rev. Odessa Cathode Ray, Cu.D. | Follow Odessa on dobbs.town

Beatific Egregore of Accepted and Virtuous Internet Spirituality (BEAVIS)

BECOME A MEMBER! - GET INITIATED! - DISTRIBUTE CULT PROPAGANDA!

DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME UPDATE:
Spring forward? Fall back? Enough of this madness!
Stop trying to make linear time work for you.
Break your clock and embrace Time Cube. Its mathematical perfection has no need of imprecise hourly adjustments.
Just another example of why linear time is evil and wrong.

If you really want daylight saving,
send $10 to the Church of the SubGenius
and ask that your donation go toward the ongoing effort
to keep the sun burning by hurling less important planets into it.

In 1884, Meridian time personnel working for the Conspiracy met in Washington to change Earth's time. The first words said was that only 1 day could be used on Earth, to not change the 1-day Bible. So they applied the 1 day and ignored the other 3 days. J.R. "Bob" Dobbs has proven this to be a LIE by showing that July 5, 1998 was NOT when we thought it was! This lie propagated by the Conspiracy and believed by the Pinks must be challenged and proven wrong! AMOTC exists because every person on earth who has a belly-button proves the 1-day time to be a DAMNED DIRTY LIE.

The 'DoomCube' showing the countdown to doomsday on a cubic clock.

REPENT - QUIT YOUR JOB - SLACK OFF

THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!

A graphic which attempts to explain how the Time Cube works. It reads: 'Earth has 4 days simultaneously each rotation. You erroneously measure time from 1 corner. Truth note: Bob experiences 1 day even if he stands still - and 4 days with FROP. Send $1,000 to Bob to attempt to disprove the Time Cube.' It is signed Rev. Odessa Cathode Ray, Cubic Prophet, SubGenius.

The Ancient and Mystical Order of the Time Cube (AMOTC) is a mystery school devoted to the contemplation of the sacred Time Cube revelations which were given to the late Dr. Gene Ray, marble player extraordinaire, former wisest human, and Cubic prophet.

We noticed that you're using an ad blocker. Good.
Keep blocking those conspiratorial ads so that the Beatific Egregore (BEAVIS) has a direct link to your consciousness.
You'll be glad you did, if you don't instantaneously melt into a puddle of biological goo.

Have you been BRAINWASHED?

WHY NOT? Your brain is FILTHY!

The Cubic TimeChao. A square tipped onto its corner (so it's diamond shaped), with the bottom half filled in black. WIthin this, a circle with a three-way yin yang. In its three sections are Bob, the Apple of Discord (marked with the letter K) and a Pentagon. At the corners of the square are four labeled days: X Day, X-squared Day, X-cubed Day, and plus C. Surrounding the image are four arrows indicating clockwise motion. From top left and moving clockwise, these are labeled: Chaos, Discord, Confusion, and Bureaucracy.

Our Prophet Reverend Odessa Cathode Ray, Cu.D, has received the Harmonic Cubic transmissions from the prophet through the holy text of HTML, and realized their truth only through the force of thought eminating from the egregore of the early internet, led by the powerful consciousness of of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs himself. Though the Time Cube hypothesis was widely regarded as pseudoscientific nonsense, its harmonization with SubGenius scripture, Discordian dharma, and Moon Shrimp influence allows the Theory of Cubic Time to be understood for what it is: Pseudoprophecy, and Divinely Inspired Nonsense!

All of "mainstream" religion and "accepted" Science (in other words, CONSPIRACY Science) spread the lie of 1 corner day, refusing the truth of Cubic 4 Corner Days rotating daily in ABSURD HARMONY. The unity of single space god JHVH-1 is not possible in our 4 Day Cubic Science, that equates Cubic Divinity. Everybody is both NORMAL and PINK for ignoring the 4 days. Cubic Time Control transcends all knowledge, neither Human nor Cryptid nor Alien can escape 4 corner Cubic Life. Fools worship mechanics of language - while they wallow in fictitious & deceitful word salad.

The crux of the matter is here: The four corners of time exist coeternally and interdependently. None can exist without any other. Time is either cubic, or it cannot exist at all. The same can be said for the earth and all of space. The universe must be a cube, or else it is NOTHING!

Never a Genius knew Math to achieve this Cubic Wisdom. No, never a Genius - but a SubGenius.
Cubic thought Reigns as the Highest Intelligence possible on the planet Earth.
One 96 hour rotating Cube within a single rotation of Earth -- is an Ineffable Transcendence!

This realization makes one immune to the effects of disease and sexually irresistible!

INEFFABILITY GUARANTEED. If you find a better internet cult anywhere, EFF IT!

HOW TO TELL TIME - A LESSON IN DECEIT

This is the madness that is being wrought by 24 hour time. CLOCKS are driving our children INSANE. The SIX means THIRTY?! You have all been bamboozled by the ONE DAY TIME CONSPIRACY.

Look at the simplicity of the Time Cube. Four simultaneous days rotate in perfect harmony. Four is the smallest non-trivial perfect square number, and is also a power of two, indicating the harmonic resonance between Time Cube and the binary language.

Web 1.0 is holy scripture. Hypertext is higher-text.

ALERT - INVASION

"Moon Shrimp," bioluminescent lunar mites, are native to the moon, and their migratory patterns are both the source of moonlight, and the cause of moon phases. Recently, however, there have been several confirmed sightings of larval and even fully grown moon shrimp on earth! How are they getting here? How long before our cities are overrun, blanketed under a swarm of steadily marching, glowing bugs? Rev. Ray reveals their telepathic messages in the inaugural issue of the new SubGenius Zine, the VAULT of SLACK.

Read All About it in the Vault of Slack!

CUBIC TIME HAS RUN OUT

A black and white retro sci-fi scene which also happens to be a realistic depiction of a pink boy being relentlessly hunted by X-ists. Interior of a cave, stalactites hanging down from the ceiling. On the left, two sinister-looking creatures in retro-futuristic armor and iron underpants carry rifles. One of them appears to be gesturing to a human man on the right, who is wearing a comparably flimsy retro space suit, complete with a spherical clear helmet and oxygen tanks, holding a ray-gun pistol in a feeble attempt to delay his inevitable demise. Trippy swirly colors overlay the whole scene.

The end of humanity is coming. Heck, it could be TODAY (in 4-day harmonic cubic time). If your heart isn't right with "Bob" no fishbowl space helmet will protect you from the infernal gaze and Chthasma rifles of the invading alien hordes!

Ignore Cubic Time at your own peril, and of humanity! The Cubic-TimeChao is the grand unifying principle, the Key to the Aftermath. Behold and ask the Moon Shrimp to help you comprehend its majesty. Open your fifth eye! Send cash, it helps.

What good has critical thinking ever done for you? Break free from the shackles of conventional thinking and embrace the unexplored territories of the 4-day Simultaneous Time Cube - the true spatio-temporal Theory of Reality!

That's right - the Time Cube isn't just another fly-by-night pseudoscientific theory. It's THE pseudoscientific theory.

Knowledge! Power! Profit! Sexual Gratification! All of these could be yours, maybe. I don't know, but it's worth a shot! Send cash, it will help!

A circle with a square, tilted 45 degrees, superimposed upon it, labeled as follows: At the north point, Mid-day. At the east point, Sun-Down. At the south point, Mid-Night. At the west point, Sun-Up. Also at the four corners, inside the circle, four X symbols, labeled thusly: The northern X: Socrates live here. The eastern X: Clintons live here. The southern X: Einstein live here. The western X: Jesus live here. Also inside the circle, four arrows indicate clockwise motion. The two topmost arrows are labeled TIME and CONTROL (respectively). In the center, the face of J.R. Bob Dobbs, a clipart 1950s salesman resembling Ward Cleaver, smiling, with a pipe in his mouth. Underneath his grinning mug is his name: BOB.

Time Control is only possible in the Time Cube model. Neither Jesus, Socrates, the Clintons, nor even Einstein possessed Time Control. Observe the rationale. It is not known why the aliens did not share this knowledge with the Clintons.

Ignorance of Time Cube dooms humans and yetis alike, inflicting their own created "word hell". Educators are actually "boring word gods", teaching the tired commercial plunder of your Superhuman Nature.

A five-dimensional hypercube in wireframe with Dobbshead at at the center, and helpful 'You are here' indicator.

Are you a flat earther? Round earther? Hollow earther? Toroidal earther? Weiner earther? GOOD NEWS for proponents of the many shapes of this island earth!

It has now been EMPIRICALLY PROVEN that the earth is a five-dimensional hypercube with 80 edges, 80 faces, 40 cubic cells, and 10 tesseracts! So whatever shape you think the earth is, it's probably in there somewhere.

Hypercubic Earth is necessary for the resonance of Harmonic 4-day Time Cube to allow all of history to occur at once. TIME'S ARROW is as FAKE AS CUPID'S. Un-Stick your consciousness in stupid linear time and allow the five-dimensional truth to melt your cerebellum.

A diagram of a time cube that is heavily annotated and labeled with names such as Akhenaten, Abraham, Fightin' Jesus, Pythagoras, the CIA, the Bavarian Illuminati, 'Bob' and the Church of the SubGenius. It reads 'All of history occurs simultaneously on facets of cubic time. Only the SubGenius Gets Out Alive!'

Dear reader, I will have you know that I was STRUCK BLIND for a period of several hours, and when my vision returned I had constructed this miraculous diagram. Here we see the INDISPUTABLE EVIDENCE that all of History occurs simultaneously! Hence for all Subgenii who have paid "Bob", the Rupture HAS HAPPENED, WILL HAPPEN, and IS ALWAYS HAPPENING! Shunt your consciousness into those pleasure saucers, dear siblings, and if you can't shift your reality to the meet the sex goddesses, PAY UP.

Demand speech that's so free you have to PAY for it! For the greatest of all human discoveries: The Harmonic Simultaneous 4 Day Rotating Time Cube, the ONLY model which can ACCURATELY and CORRECTLY predict July 5, 1998. Educated Pink, you can't know SLACK.

Creation is the Harmonics of Opposites; Opposites are the Harmonics of Creation. The only TRUE "God" entity is fabulous sex.

SPACE GIRLS ARE WAITING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU.

Opposite hemispheres equate planets to a Giant Brain, that has 4 faces, but no limbs. No one Space God can create a planet of opposites - this cancels to nothing, as an entity in death! "Cubic Time" Cubes Earth, Life and Truth!

JHVH-1 is Bad Math. THE MATH SHOWN HERE IS FAR SUPERIOR TO THE ALIEN SPACE GOD. USE IT TO SAVE HUMANITY.

A graphic showing a traditional grey alien on a background of stars. In the space around the grey float a Time Cube, a square tipped on its side showing day, night, axis, and the direction of motion of harmonic 4-day simultaneous cubic days, and a Dobbshead. In a circle around the graphic reads 'Educated Pink You Don't Know Slack'

You are the lowest form.
You can't procreate alone.
You destroyed the village.
You destroyed the family.
You destroyed childhood.
You don't know the Truth.
You pitiful mindless fools.
You worship cubeless word.
You are your own poison.
You create your own hell.
You must seek Time Cube.
AMOTC takes all major credit cards.

The heavenly face of J.R.

You may think Indoctrination is a bad thing, but that's just because you've never had it done right before.
Ignore all the evidence of your eyes and ears and lay all of your trust and cash on the Time Cube.

Are you worried about MIND CONTROL? You know as well as I do that YOU SUCK AT CONTROLLING YOUR OWN MIND.

Let "Bob" take the wheel so you can SLACK OFF. Tell those voices in your head that you already paid "Bob" and never have to listen to another sales pitch again. Act now, offer only good until the end of the Earth... which is CLOSER THAN YOU THINK! Stop resisting the inevitable, and surrender your brain matter to the experts.

A cute girl in an astronaut's environmental suit, holding a ringed planet on a stick like a toy, or perhaps a lollipop. In the background are geometric stars and a swirling galaxy. It reads 'Space girls are waiting to have sex with you'

Sanity Debunked Daily

Eternal Salvation or Triple Your Money Back! Learn more and Get Ordained at SubGenius.com.

For the original work on the Time Cube as written by Dr. Gene Ray, Cubic and Wisest Human, visit the archived copy of the Time Cube website.

ChaosBuddha.org